That is a good question my wondering readers (do I even have any?)

I have been around the place... and that place is called life. I've been to a Renaissance Fair where I was dressed like a wood nymph with tattered clothes and vines painted over every inch of my body. I have been to the forest... where I attempted to finish my novel, but rather succeeded in blowing up my computer (literally) to where I lost everything saved on it. I slipped into a bout of anger where I spent my time furiously clubbing and drinking away my despair.

I pulled myself up out of this pit and found myself in a very awkward relationship with my neighbor... we are still trying to figure this out, but I'm having fun. I've started writing again.

I used my Xbox 360 as a means of therapy... my gamerscore has seen a two thousand point increase in about 40 days. For me that is a great leap. I've played so many games that I will probably be reviewing them from now until oblivion! (not the game, but actual armageddon... I did play the game though)

I have suffered, I have lived... I have lied and I forgived (how'd you like that bit of prose?)

The main point of it all is that I found myself to be tired of life... not in any vain or suicidal way, but that I felt... UNFULFILLED. I have so much left to do in this world and I feel that there is so much left to give that I just... didn't see anything but a black hole beginning to swallow me. There is more to life than my frivilous nature, unfortunately I felt I'd caught my mistake too late...

Perhaps I did? We'll never know, but I like the track my life is on now... it's going good again.

So to all of you I say hellow once again!

You know that life has become boring... when you are capable of predicting everything that is to come. Yes... when you know how something is going to turn out: before you actually try to do said something... then you just want it to change for the heck of it--because that will be more fun than the known outcome.

Take a new guy for an example. It's is very boring when you know how he is going to react. You know that you'll get his number... you know that he'll call... you know that he'll try to set up a date. It's just the way things work. So, in an effort I try to change the game. I swap numbers with him and I decide to call him first. Just something short and simple... and make plans for later in the week. But even then... I know what to expect. He will be unenthused and unresponsive... because you took away his man power and then pushed him off and made him wait.

Which makes him completely boring to talk to for the next few days... it absolutely sucks!! SUCKS!! Because then you know that you're going to be annoyed at him, which makes you angry... which inturn makes you want to just get everything over with immeadiately... and that isn't fair to him. BUT! You say to yourself... "You know how this is going to play out... Does he really have a chance?" And of course the answer is no... no one has had a chance for a very long time... because when you've done it all, a man, who falls into the "done it" category, just starts off penalized and with a severe handicap needed...

I'm looking to get unbored and it's not happening. I think it's time to start looking into new things... perhaps ice fishing or lesbianism.... yeah... one of those two.

Word of the day: ThunderWhore: when your skankiness is so apparent that is appalls more than just one of the six senses...

So I've been thinking... it's a wild thought, but I like telling stories, but some weeks I just don't have anything worth talking about. I like to try and at least post something here twice a week, but I like them to be long and worthwhile.... So I've been wondering, and I want your opinions, if I should maybe post the story I've been writing?

I really like to write, my only problem is that I thrive on opinions from other people. When no one comments or gives feedback... I get discouraged and just don't feel like writing. I'm weird.

So I've got several stories I can put up here in little snippets. Some are star wars based, several are original... just give me your thoughts. I might write something entirely original... like Maniacle Writing Mondays where I write a small 700 word piece. We'll just have to see.

Well I'm off for the day, and that means the weekend starts. I'm looking forward to having a quiet, calm, relaxing... what the hell am I talking about? I'm going to party tonight so I've got to get ready!! Enjoy your weekend people!

Dragon Age: Origins....

Yeah, the name sounds pretty good, hell the entire game concept sounds very good... my only problem? I can't find enough information out about the game to make an accurate decision. Everything about it is very HUSH HUSH. People have gotten to play it, but not much of it... current thoughts are mixed. Here's what I've been able to piece together:

It's a bloody RPG! In both the British and graphic sense of the word... lots of blood. Now that's a plus in my game if it is 1) realistic and 2) not just thrown in as a laugh factor (like painting the screen with blood from one person... come one mortal combat... enough already). I like violent games... they help relieve boredom and stress and they give me adrenaline.

It's an RPG! I mentioned this, I know... but I love RPG's... top type of game for me. I like Knights of the Old Republic, I like Final Fantasy... I own so many RPG's/games with RPG elements that it isn't funny (infinite undiscovery is awesome... so is tales of symphonia and Last remanent)... but I won't touch games like WOW. I don't play well with others... so this game looks massive and promises to hold true to RPG style... which is good.

Made by BioWare... heh... that's a good sign no? They created KOTOR... they are the best in the biz.

No real-time action... I don't know how they are going to pull this one off. No one seems keen on explaining it. GamesRadar said it was fun... and was fast paced... but they also mentioned Dungeons & Dragons... which makes me wary. I don't wanna feel like a Dungeon Master. I wanna hack things... I want to feel like a sith lord spewing lightning down upon pathetic little peons... who were stupid enough to cross me.

Characters... what look to be predesigned. Uh uh... I like my Elder Scrolls game... I get to make myself if I want to, or I can create a six foot tall, walking, black lizard... I wanna make my character. They won't explain if that is possible or not... which makes me think that it isn't. I need some confirmation here BioWare. MassEffect was fun, but that was because I could make what the main character looked like to a fairly nice degree. I don't care if the story is amazing!! I want it to be revolved around my character, not yours... not if I'm going to put hours and hours into something that yields no other reward besides sleep deprivation!!

It sounds like a 50-50 shot at the moment. I'm keeping my eyes open... Arkham Asylum was amazing and I had some doubts. I guess I'll have to see, but whether I spend my money on this game or not... that hasn't been decided.

So I've seen Halloween 2... it was fairly good... better than the original Halloween 2 (in my opinion) but it will never be better than the first Halloween. It's gorey, hack and slash, and has little for the merit of a review... except go see people decapitated and murdered!! GO!! Once scene has Michael Myers stab this woman and her neck is all tore the hell up... she's ganked!! And I turn to my friend and say, "Do you think she'll be alright?" The theater died for some reason... laughter everywhere, which is why I watch horror movies: I like to laugh. I. Like. To. See. People. Killed.

Plain and simple....

After that friends and I hit up a club this weekend, I was able to get all the dancing out of my system while they were able to get sloshed! It was hilarious having to get them all to the car... and they wanted to go back to my place. I don't really mind... and they wanted to watch a good movie; I REALLY didn't care. Drunk people make me laugh. So they piled in and we headed to go watch REPO! the Genetic Opera!

Now if you haven't seen it... go rent it. Don't have any expectations for this movie... just watch it. It's quite interesting how it was done. 92% of the movie is sung... it is an opera after all, but it's not what you think. It has a hilarious moment where Paris Hilton loses her face... yeah, I know, go watch it just for that!

All in all it was a typical weekend.... good to be back in working society.

Ok... since no one seemed to care about my review of Batman: Arkham Asylum (the previous news post), I have decided to continue with time honored storytelling.

It's not a secret that I like to drive fast. I also like to drive insanely fast... it's fun and I like watching people around me have their minds blown. It is also a hazzard though, because the police are a continual annoyance to my pastime. However, I have found a solution: Mall parking lot... the police do not patrol and Mall security cannot issue tickets or give arrests. As long as I'm not breaking any major laws... traffic violations do not cout on private property (thank you mall owning people!!).

So my friends and I have taken to the mall parking lot the last few nights for some... automobile fun.

I'm quite good at driving and my little car is quite useful for drifting... that being said, people like hoping in my car as I take it around the parking lot going 80kph. I hug light poles, other cars and make ninty degree turns... I'm as fun as a ride on disney world... but I can't be selfish; other people need a chance to show off and I understand this. Last night two of my friends took turns showing off. The first did a remarkable drift in a large truck without flipping it... I doff my hat to him. The other... well she just needs to learn one major lesson: not everyone can drive impressively. Some people need to just not try at all.

Well... she learned a little bit too late. While going 60mph... she either was not paying attention, or she was blind; whatever the reason... she hit the cement curb and launched into the air and through a small grassy knoll and back onto another section of the parking lot--effectively shredding the front left tire... and cracking the front axel on her sports car (it's a camero... very nice... or it was). I was torn between horror... and laughter because it was quite comical.

None the less... I went over to use my proficient mechanic skills and pronouced a verdict: This shit just fucked you up!

I think I was accurate in saying that. When the tow truck arrived the driver estimated about 7000 in damages... which probably would tone down to 5400 at a normal body shop. Still... tore the vehicle up! Not only that, but the mall security were all around like ants!! And they couldn't even believe what had happened. Needless to say... my Fast and Furious dreams have been satisfied for the moment... and I have a story I'll never let her forget.

Word of the day: Assume - when someone thinks they can do something, just because they've seen it done... or because it looks easy... to believe that you can be perfect without practice... or to make an ass out of u and me... When the blonde affects your higher level brain functions and you lose all rational thought...

I'm in love... and his name is Batman: Arkham Asylum... also Mark Hamill and Kevin Conroy.

I purchased my collectors edition yesterday and played it well into the wee hours of this morning... and now you get to here my thoughts.

First (if you even care what I have to say), don't buy the collector's edition. It's 108 american dollars... and the batarang (which you really want so you can throw it at people) is not only cheap dime store plastic... but it doesn't come off the stand without destroying it. While getting a dvd and an extra book with bios and art is nice... it's not worth the money. Buy the Gamer's Guide with the standard copy of the game and you pretty much get the collector's edition (just not the Crime Alley map for free... but you can still download it.)

Now that we are past that... the game is amazing. If you kept up with the hype... everyone has been saying that. Well, they weren't wrong. I'm not going to give a sells pitch, so after 9 hours of playing here are my thoughts:

Amazing video... almost all cutscenes are interactive and beautiful. Not only that, but Mark Hamill as the Joker and Kevin Conroy as Batman (once again as they were in the animated series) is more than enough reason for me to have bought the game. They give the best Batman Movie performances I have seen (yes... Hamill beats Ledger hands down). I was never bored, infact I kept playing so
I could get more cut scenes.

Character development... is mindblowing. Everyone in the game, from grunts to guards... they all have individual programmed personalities. I've yet to find two people that act alike when I talk to them. It's quite a display...

Fighting system... there are two ways to play: pansy-pussy way and OMG-I'm-a-fucking-Masochist way. Let me break it down for you: pansy pussy way is when you play on easy or normal and you get into a fight... the enemies have blue line things over their head when they are about to hit you... and it signals that you need to counter. It's easy and makes Batman seem cheesey. The OMG-I'm-a-fucking-Masochist way is when you choose hard mode... they take away the blue lines and you have to determine counter times on your own, not only that... but the enemies have almost double health as normal mode, they do almost double the damage... and they are smarter. I chose OMG-I'm-a-fucking-Masochist way because I wanted to pretend to be Batman. I never downloaded the demo... I didn't know how to fight... and the first thing they have you do in the game (after a awesome interactive intro) is fight... yeah I died ten times as I tried to learn the fighting system. Needless to say that my initial experience was a bit pushed towards anger... but after that beginning fight scene (and after I learned how to use all the controls) I was nothing near angry.

There is tons of shit to do--LITERALLY. The Riddler has ovr 200 things for you to do throughout the game... and that's just him. You can collect patient interviews, you can stealth fight enemies to take them down quickly and silently (which I'm loving)... you collect character bios... solve crime scenes... track evidence... and that's all seemlessly meshed into the main story. I had to make myself go help commissioner Gordon because I was too busy having fun hunting down and solving Riddler's puzzles (which are actually mind-fucks... you gotta think about them).

On top of all this... is a story which i have yet to figure out. I think the Joker is up to something (DUH!) but they haven't really given me enough to go on...

All in all I'd rate this game an easy 9.2 outta 10... with 0.8 taken away for my initial anger... and the difficulty of learning the combat system. Once you learn it though... it's quite fun and it never gets repetitive or simple... you are always thinking (if I fuck up... I'm dead) and I think that's a thought that goes through Batman's head nightly... so to actually feel like the character (even though I don't have a penis... and I'm no where near as buff or awesome... you get the point) is a plus over any superhero game made to date... BUT IT! (there's my sales pitch)

Ok... so I like chicken tenders... especially when they come from a certain restaurant right down the road from where I work. I haven't been there in ages (because of a certain reason explained later) and when my co-woker said, "Hey, lets go get some!" I was all to happy to agree. It wasn't until we were pulling into the restaurant that I rememed why I hadn't been there in so long--one of my ex's was the manager there. I did not know it at the time I was dating him, and I didn't learn it until after we had dated for several weeks... but the fact remained that he had been completely childish about the break up (he deleted my number, didn't talk to me about it, and deleted all of our mutual friends from his myspace... I don't own a myspace so I guess he was coping?)... so I haven't talked to him in awhile.

In fact I didn't know whether or not he still worked there, but upon arriving at the parking lot... I saw his vehicle and knew deep in my bones that this would be annoying. I was even offered an out, my co-worker understanding... but I was not letting him stand between me and my chicken... that glorious fried goodness that I eat without remorse.

So I walk in and he's manning the cash register. He sees me... oh we make eye contact... and he immediately turns around and walks into the back of the restaurant... leaving me to be waited on by someone else. A fucking wonderful way to start my meal. We order, pay, and take a table... at which time he comes back out and continues playing "The I can't see you" game... which just is childish and my co-worker and I can't help but laugh about it. Finally I go to get our food and I stand up at the counter until he looks at me; I then smile and wave kindly... i say hi...

And he smirks...

Not a funny smirk, but that vicious asshole smirk that says: "FUCK OFF AND DIE *added explitive*!!"

I was furious, but then he vanishes into the backroom, taking my appitite with him. I'm fuming, my co-worker knows that I have no problem with barging into the back of the restaurant, punching him in his balls, and then walking back out... so she immediately starts railing him... which was pretty funny. My mood then picked up when I noticed that he had snuck out the back of the restaurant in order to go smoke next to the side of the restaurant and "inconspicuously" spy on me through the window. It was childish and I was way more mature than he...

At that moment, two friends of his whom I had met and stayed in contact with... even after the break-up... they walk in and are at the cashier. I go up to them; I say hi. The three of us are talking and he comes through the side door and motions to them... and what do they do? They completely ignore me like I'm a freaking lepper!!! They all go outside and stare at me through the window... further fueling my anger. I'm pissed, but I want to eat now... so I devour my meal; my co-worker has no words for the childishness.

Finally the ex seats the two assholes and brings them free food; he stands there talking to them in the restaurant rather than working... so I'm making my mind up that I'm going to show the world how immature this bastard really is. We are ready to leave and I walk over and this is how the conversation goes:

"Well I just wanted to tell you both good-bye, and say that it was nice to see you again," I smile to all of them and turn to my ex, "And it's good to see you too, nice to know you're not dead--seeing as how you've stopped talking to me."

He gives me the smirk... again! His friends nod politely and say good-bye.

I walk a few steps towards the door before turning around again, "Oh... and by the way *ex's name*, you've mastered the bitchy "fuck off" smirk rather well!"

"You're deserving of it," he snaps.

"I taught him well," his friend to the right says... she's a hot mess, but she's pretty when she doesn't try to be. Odd combination... but most of the time she looks like a glorified drag queen... especially last night.

I nodded with a bemused smile, "Well... if you ever decided to actually talk to me again," I look him in the eye, "You can call me--wait, you don't have my number."

"Yep," he smirks again, "And you don't have mine."

HAHA! I'm thinking... a one up on you! "No... I still do," I reply, "I don't delete people's numbers."

"I changed my phone this week..." he smirks again, "bye bye"

And he turns to ignore me... I'm furious at this point so I put my sunglasses on and I leave... very irrate that the asshole got the last word. Not only that, but apparently friendship is bought with cheap and crappy food... and an immature lifestyle. All in all I decided that I was eventually better than he... and that if I DID commit murder I'd be wasting my life on pond scum.

Still pissed me off though....

OK... so i'm going to tell another story from my trip out in the countryside. For those of you who care about my thoughts on movies, the review for Julie & Julia is one post back. (enjoy)

Now, before I get into this story, there is something about myself that I feel inclined to explain to you... my readers. I like to name things... no, not just nickname... I like to name everything. I'm quite good at it. For example: my friend's nose twitches every time you touch it. The thing looks like it's dancing. Thus... I named it Ethel. Why? Because of Ethel Murman, the Broadway performer... her dancing looked like twitching and spazzing and it was cute. Anyways... I'm also very good at giving nicknames based upon who the person is. Sometimes I get the name in seconds... sometimes it takes longer... but I'm pretty good at it all around. I like names... it's a science for me.

So, anyhow... while up country... one of the gays thought it would be funny to bring a lizard inside. We're talking a nice... small iguana sized lizard. I thought it was a chameleon at first (because it had different colored scales), but it turned out just to have really COOL coloration. It had a patch of black scales over one eye that looked like an eye-patch. Well... the moment they bring this lizard into the house... it lunges from his hand and onto my arm. I didn't freak out... until the thing started climbing up onto my neck... and then it leapt onto one of the girls sitting at the table.

Chaos insued... but finally, I caught the thing. I couldn't help but draw one conclusion: this lizard was a pirate. What? With the eyepatch and the pillaging and the jumping... PIRATE! This I named him captain cupcake. It was quite funny and everyone agreed with me... except for the lizard, who soundly bit me on the finger and proceeded to run into one of the bedrooms. It took several minutes before we came to the conclusion that not only was Captain Cupcake a pirate lizard... but he was also a spy, because he vanished faster than lizardly possible.

Sharon, the token blonde of our group (only she isn't really blonde, she just thought it would be cool to try the color... she didn't listen to me when I warned her that the dye would affect her brain... oh well!), decided to start calling out the lizard's name... as if it was going to actually come when she called. Oh the lizard came already... like a freaking assasin from above. It landed in her hair, jumped to the floor and ran for the door and I was only too happy to throw the thing out of my house... and promptly pummel my darling friend who was so intelligent enough to bring it inside in the first place.

Thus... the villanous Captain Cupcake is still at large--waiting to pillage and plunder the next group of unsuspecting idiots that pass his way.

Word of the day: Reptile - adjective describing something or someone who is sneaky and tricky in their actions, words or appearance... they shed some part of themselves, being anatomy or personality... be warned. Reptile also means creepy,

Rating: 2.5/5 stars
Reasoning: ok... this movie is... half good... half crap... with a whole buncha hunger thrown in. WARNING: Do not go see this movie when you are hungry! Eat dinner or lunch before hand... because they do nothing but cook and cry throughout this whole ordeal... (well Amy Adams whines a whole bunch). In fact this movie would have been 5 stars if Adams hadn't been in the film at all!! Meryl Streep was PERFECT! She captured her character with flair, but the overall tone of the movie was ruined because Adam's character never seemed to get off the ground.

I was excited and then bored as soon as the time frame and character shifted. Meryle Streep = awesome... Amy Adams = wake me up when Meryle is back on the screen.

All in all it is not a bad movie... well directed, good cinematography... the only problem is that this is the second movie that Amy Adams has appeared in with Meryl Streep and it is the second time that she fails to hold up her end of the acting... I felt like I was in a rehash of Doubt... (where Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Meryl Streep gave Academy Award worthy performances... and Adams was too much of a wuss on screen, her characters have no depth). Adams either needs to pick her game up... or she needs to leave heavy acting to the people who have that ability. As it is right now... she is just showing the world how much of a different plane she is on.

Watching Julie & Julia will be a classic study in the quality of actors... and while you enjoy the food, you can enjoy the iconic lesson: don't bite off more than you can chew, Miss Adams.