Ok... I had one of my famous... unpredictable weekends.

WORD OF WARNING: I never know what I'm going to be doing in advance... Most of the time I cannot be reached on the weekends.

Case in point: Thursday night... I was at home, on the computer, when my neighbor comes by. He's all upset (and he's freakin' hawt!!) because his girlfriend and him got in a fight and she let the dog out. OF ALL THINGS! The stupid bitch sends the dog running off into the neighborhood. Now my neighbor and I are friendly... we don't know each other very well. It turns out though that we both have nicknames for one another... when we are with friends and we need to reference our neighor, I call him "the hot piece of man flesh next door" and he calls me "the insane yet insanely attractive redhead" (which by the way... for anyone's reference... he's calling me a man trap. Which would be rude if he weren't so cute and if it wasn't the truth... I am a man trap. You look at me and see physical when you really should know that I WILL PROBABLY BE THE DEATH OF YOU!!)

Anyhow... he's pissed at his girlfriend and can't find his dog and wanted to know if I had seen it. Of course I'd been inside all night and hadn't seen anything, but I pull on my jacket and come outside to help him look for his dog... and lo-and-behold he starts laughing. Apparently he'd never seen a woman put on a designer jacket and go look for a dog in stillettos. Well, as I very politely said, "Fuck you and go to hell... because no dog is gonna get me in sneakers." I promise I said it as sarcastically and politely as I could at 11pm.

He apparently found it amusing... and we went to go look for his dog, which is named sophia. When I learned more about this dog I was expecting to have to go find some snobbish woman's tiny yorkie... I'm thinking Paris Hilton or something... not a man's dog. I'm all like... "Damn! He's still into the bitch!" But I'm nice... calling out the dog's name. By the time midnight has passed we still haven't found the dog... I finally get pissed and shout out a line from a movie called The Color Purple. (If you haven't seen it... it has Danny Glover, Whoopie Goldberg, and Oprah Winfrey... and it's an amazing movie. Anyhow... Oprah Winfrey plays Miss Sophia and she is married to a wife beater by the name of Harpo... and there is a famous line from this movie...) I shouted, "Come here, Sophia! Comes to Harop!!"

Wouldn't you know it? At that movie this huge grey mass comes jumping out of the bushes and leaps up to my eye level... (i'm six foot tall standing flat footed... and I'm in heels remember... that's a hell of a jump for a dog) I barely manage to catch this dog without falling over, and the entire scene sends my neighbor into a laughing fit! I just calmly start petting this FUCKING HUGE yorkie (we are talking about a foot and a half tall... twenty pounds... like a godzilla yorkie) and I quote another line from the movie, "All my life I had to fight... I love's Harpo, I do Miss Ceily! But I kills him dead before I let him beat me again!" And my neighbor is apparently awestruck with laughter at this... it is only several minutes later that I learn... and I start laughing... because he does the same thing with this yorkie. Apparently she was named for such humor (becaus Oprah is no dainty woman in The Color Purple... and this is no dainty primpy yorkie... this is a MAN's yorkie... i was freaked out for a little while).

So now he has his dog... and we walk home... say goodnight... and all seems to come to an end. I get the weekend off and I'm going to be alone. Fate is a fickle... fickle... evil bitch!! I'm woken up at 11am by my neighbor... and he's looking tired (he apparently fought with his girlfriend all night) and he's holding Sophia... he needs someone to watch her for the day because he has to go and get all his "ex's" stuff out of the house and to her new place... apparently he can't take the dog because she hates the dog... blah blah blah... basically he needs a favor. Then he offers to take me to dinner as payment.

I'm impressed... this is 1) a very brave man, because he has witnessed my life from the outside, and 2) he is a very arrogant man... thinking that I would go to dinner with him because of a dog. I told him he could pay me 50 bucks for the dog sitting and if he wanted a date... he could get the bollucks to just ask me out and that I was free Saturday. AND HE FREAKING LAUGHS!! Apparently I'm a comedian! (note to you guys: laughing is OUR job... you say things that you think are funny... and we laugh at them to make your ego's survive the harsh winters between your dating lives... we DO NOT constantly try to be funny... I was being sarcastic for his information)

However, he impresses me... and shocks me at the same time. He said he was hoping for as much and offered to take me out to dinner the next night... I accepted... and it turns out that I had a pretty good time. He managed to hold my attention for both Saturday (damn bastard woke me up early and took me to do more than just dinner... but it was fun) and Sunday... and I'm going to see him again on Wednesday, because I'm such a nice person.

Could I have found my next relationship living next door? Meh... I'm not a romantic. If he can handle my insanity and I don't get bored... this could be rather fun. BWAHAHA!! I'll be taking your odds and money nows!!