I have been to the movies quite recently in the past five days. My movie going experiences have been thus: Public Enemies, staring Johnny Depp (may he forever be a sex icon) and Christian Bale (may he go back to the days of American Psycho); I went from that movie to see G-force the next day (Nicholas Cage plays a mole... a must hear voice performance); and then I saw just last night The Ugly Truth staring Katherine Heigel and Gerard Butler (may he never grow old... that man is pure hotness). And after I realized my mixed feelings about all the movies... I had the overwhelming desire to be a movie critic for just one night. So here it is, for those who care: My moment in the critic's chair.

Public Enemies: 2 stars (out of possible 5)

Synopsis: Johnny Depp's acting is phenomenal! You shouldn't miss this performance, because it is so out of character for him. He plays John Dillinger; he plays a normal human being (or as close as Johnny Depp can get) and he plays loving... quite well; however, Johnny Depp is the high point for this movie. Christian Bale's acting is so... stone-like that I prayed for his moments on screen to be finished. I thought I was watching Bruce Wayne with a Boston accent. He was so wooden and emotionless that you couldn't tell what his character was supposed to be thinking... but you knew what Bale was wanting: "May I please finish this scene, collect my paycheck... and then go on to ruin another potentially great movie!" Christian Bale has a wall of iconic themes from our past. He sits in his chair at night and throws darts at this wall... and whatever he hits, that becomes his next project to ruin. He hit Batman twice! The only reason those movies didn't flop is because of the supporting cast and a star touched director. His Batman voice is the bane of my childhood fantasies! Don't get me started on Terminator Salvation (while a good movie... it could have done without Bale).

While Bale's performance is easily over looked by the stunning artistry of this movie, and the fact that he is in the movie very little... you cannot help but wonder where the writers were going with this script. The plot was jumped, jostled, and jumbled to the point of incoherence. You find yourself fast forwarding, moving states and towns without any notice or wording to help you keep pace... and the story itself lacks direction. It is all one bizarre ride to Dillinger's inevitable death... and even then you feel that it was poorly executed (literally). All in all... this film had so much wasted potential that I am tired of talking about it. Moving on...

G-force: 3.5/5 stars

Consensus: Ok... I'm a kid a heart. I went to see this with a guy who wanted to buy me dinner, and after dinner... let's just say I was not going to do anything further with him. He was boring. So... I needed a pick me up, and he let me choose the movie. I picked this. I was very surprised. I thought it would be complete crap and unworthy of any kind of praise... but it was creative, inventive and it had graphics at times that could rival transformers (in fact it tried to mimic transformers at one time. that was was hilarious). I recommend that you go see this movie. It's cute, it'll make you laugh, and it has a good set up for a sequel. Also the voice acting is spot on. You can't tell who is playing which character until you watch the credits (except for Penelope Cruz... but she's pretty much the only female guinea pig... not hard to figure out).

Other than that i think it tried to put in TOO MUCH of today's music... but they were trying to appeal to the children. So you get to hear Lady Gaga, The Black-eye Peas and much much more... be prepared for Just Dance and Boom Boom Pow at least twice each. It loses points for over use of popular music... moving on again.

The Ugly Truth: 4/5 stars

My thoughts: I loved this movie. I'm a sucker for romantic comedy... and I think Gerard Butler is hotter than hell! So this movie was a complete draw in. Not only that but I love Katherine Heigel from Grey's Anatomy. Thus I was always going to see this movie. It's funny all the way through. It has relationship humor, swearing humor, sexual humor, naughty humor, slapstick humor... it's all there. The acting is great, the writers were excellent... I had no complaints. I just don't give perfect scores. I want to talk about this movie more, but I want you all to go and see it.

My selling point? Katherine Heigel acts a scene where she is wearing a pair of vibrating panties that go off in the middle of a restaurant business presentation... enough said! Go watch this movie!!