Friends are like underwear.

You use them until they get annoying and then you put them in the wash... clean them out... and then use them again.

Sounds harsh, but true nonetheless...

For example. I recently hosted a party for the regaining of my eyesight. Low and behold... I like hanging out with people. Big shocker! I hosted a casual get-together last night. It was four people and some take-out chinese food. It should have been fun, but no! These people come over and use my house like it is their own personal brothel. They eat all the food, leave the boxes all over my kitchen, fill the sink with dishes... and they start having sex in my bed!!

I know... you're looking at the screen and saying, "You allowed all of this?" o.O

For those among you who are wondering... no, I did not allow all of this. I watched it with grim distaste... all the while plotting their demise. The fools actually were stupid enough to fall asleep... in the house of their new awarded enemy. Little do they know about my schedule.

I'm a small sleeper... with my lifestyle I have to be. I survive on about three hours of sleep per every 48 hour period. While the idiots were having lust filled dreams... I painted my nails. I took a shower. I cleaned my kitchen. I got ready for work... and when the time came for me to leave: I threw all of their stuff out of my house, including them and told them to have a nice day. The image of three nude people standing in my front lawn--half asleep and fully confused--has not stopped brightening my day.

So I say to you this: clean your underwear frequently... and don't take shit from anyone.