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MagicalSarai's News

My baby... my poor baby!!

2009-08-05 00:22:19 by MagicalSarai

I bought a new car, which is half the reason why I'm broke during the summer months where the clinic cuts my hours. I bought a lovely car... American, but it's pretty!! And it goes fast.

Well... on my way home last night.... some moronic person wasn't paying attention and rear-ended me!! My car was raped in the butt!! By a piece of crap Honda! I was so livid and it took the officer forever to get their and take statements... I was livid, and crying and tired. Now I have to put my baby in the shop and wait for her to get fixed. It's so frustrating. Not only that but I have to deal with the driver to get money for it... I hate people at times like this.

I haven't had a close call driving for almost five years. I always thought my next wreck would be my fault... yet here it is and I'm hit... AGAIN! Second vehicle... second time I've been hit. It sucks! Life is out to get my pocket book. I have to pay for the rental car myself... and "hope to get reimbursed" once liability has been established. HELLO?! I was hit in the ass!! I think that shows who's at fault here!!

Oh well... nothing I can do now. I just wanted to vent! The fact that the officer on scene was 400lbs and looked like a cousin of Jabba the Hutt... did not help me get out of their quickly. He kept looking at me and I kept hating myself for having go out clubbing. I looked good! Too good to be standing on the side of the road at night with "creepy McPoliceman" staring at my legs... I went home and stayed in bed until I had to go to work... now I'm back in bed. I'll get up in the morning and hate the world some more and then hopefully have my car back by friday... sigh.... This is life!!

Word of the Day: Suckage - The moment when the shit hits the fan. (see also: lame and fucked up)


Art at work = Artwork

2009-08-03 15:12:09 by MagicalSarai

Ok... so I found out that today I was going to be working with the old hag... by myself... again. So I needed someway to keep Friday from happening again. Thus I put my pencils and my sketchbook in my purse and brought art with me to work. Now I don't normally do this... in fact when I perform art it is because I either 1) am too bored to do anything else, 2) I feel like inflicting pain on myself, or 3) I saw something I loved and had to mutilate it with my vision! I was trying something new today... so I got in, did my work... or the beginning of it... and began to search for images to inspire me.

I cam across the image of Negi performing Magica Erebus... (which is from Negima! the manga and if you want to know more... check out my art page) and well... seeing as how I'm still waiting for volume 23, this made me extremely giddy and so I decided to start drawing that. I managed to waste three hours of work doing this little pencil drawing. It's not a sketch because it's fully shaded and finished and I'm spraying it with sealant as we speak... I realize it is not the best art on Newgrounds, but it makes me happy to see that I can draw something other than Kirby (which is something we will get into another time).

Actually you know what... let's get into it. I'll give you a lovely story:

I cannot draw. Don't argue! I have not been able to draw for all my life. My skills start right where they stop which is NOWHERE. I have to have something to look at in order to draw it, and it has to be a photographic image. I cannot picture things in my head and I cannot just draw from memory. I need that image beside me... and I look at it constantly. Once I get the outline, then I change and make something my own. It's cheap and it's easy, but it's all I can do... except for Kirby. I can draw that little pink wad of chewing gum any day of the week... in any outfit, pose, or location. I used to draw a comic back in my hayday... when I was still in basic schooling. I called it Killer Kirby.

The plot was simple: Kirby gets attack by androids... that look like a form of kirby but different. It mixed star wars, dragonball z, harry potter, lord of the rings, kirby games, mario games, legend of zelda... all into a glorious comedy of kirby drawings (every character was a kirby looking character. A circle with stubby arms and legs and easy eyes). The thing ran for four season... which would be all of my upper level basic education. And then I lost the damn notebooks... 500 pages of comics... gone. So I got pissed off and decided I was going to university to learn how to really draw.

Heh... heh... yeah right. I ended up barely passing and the only reason the professor passed me was because I promised him... catch this... I PROMISED to NEVER bring my sketch pad or pencil into the art department again. He said excellent and I got my grade... and I took english classes the next term... and then I got tired of school.

I now work a salary job and I'm happy with my life. It's all good but the moral of the story is that I can only draw Kirby, the rest is me just doing what I do best: sight mimicry. It's not a sin... but it's not talent. I love it... but it will never be anything impressive. I cannot draw faces, I cannot envision poses, I cannot get lines down for anything... but I can shade like a mother f*uck*r! (censorship just to be safe of the little ones... XP) Like I fucking care....

So... enjoy my art for what it is... I know I do! And I'm going to go get an old hag extremely pissed now!



I like shopping... I really do. I wish I had enough money to pay for all the things that I want, but unfortunately I have expensive tastes.

Anyways... I've been broke for the past two weeks because I went on several vacations in June. I went on a cruise and then I went to San Antonio for a week in order to see some friends and then watch a Broadway musical in the Queen's box seats. It was all a blast, but my pocketbook now suffers because of it.

In order to save my sanity and my sorrow... I decided to go window shopping today. I basically went into every clothing store and tried on things that I'd want. I found a perfect shirt... but no money. I found a pair of pants that made my ass look perfect... no money. I went to look at corsets: no money. The same to be said of shoes, undergarments, accessories, leggings... I found so much stuff that was perfect... but the same problem: no money. I've used all my funds for this month and I have to wait until the 15th rolls around and I get the new kickover.

Thus every time I walked into a shop... I got really giddy and hopeful about finding something... and when I found it: BAM! It was disheartening.

However, I know where all my money is going for the next month! BWAHA!


I'm now a contributor!!

2009-08-01 21:59:18 by MagicalSarai

So I've thought long and hard, since I joined Newgrounds, about what I would contribute to the site... other than my insightful and sometimes harsh reviews... I don't animate things and I don't want to join the community of sprite animators (not that I don't like sprite movies... but that I feel that the sprite movies have flooded the internet). So I negated the idea of flash animation.

Thus I moved to the audio portal... but I don't really write music for the masses. My musical talent resides on the baby grand piano in my foyer. I compose Classical and Baroque music, however, I'm not certain if Newgrounds is the place for such music. It seems like more of a contemporary and later music area... I don't know if my skills would be widely appreciated.

Which left me in a sort of confusion... if I was going to do anything for little recognition... I think I'd like my art to be judged. I'm more proud of my art, and I don't really care what other people think about it (because anything beyond a stick figure is amazing to me... thus I love all my art). So I have now posted something beneficial on Newgrounds! Behold the first two of my art submissions! I will post a new piece of art weekly (if I can manage to be happy with it enough to put it in the public eye)... and that will be how I contribute to the mass of media that is Newgrounds.

Cheers for me!


Stupidity abounds

2009-07-31 21:59:37 by MagicalSarai

Ok... so today my lifeline didn't show up at work and I had to work in the office with the old broad by myself. Basically that means it is open season on Sara toture if you know what I mean? The old bitch even had the audacity to tell me that "Until you have more experience... don't answer the phones anymore because you'll just eff up the appointment scheduling."

Excuse me? I've been scheduling 90% of the appointments for the past year and a half without your say so! What was her reasoning? I scheduled a man for an appointment after we "closed" because he complained of coughing up blood and came to us. I signed a friggin' contract that said "Above all I will do no harm" so I couldn't well turn him away... but the bitch went and told the practitioner about it... and the practitioner didn't get all the facts. She was just told "you were scheduled and appointment after hours".

So she comes in with the old hag and starts yelling at me about not knowing how to handle her schedule... while the guy is looking at the whole scene through the window with blood dripping out of his hand and I'm not speaking. Finally when she sees the pure and utter anger that is blasting from my eyes. She snaps at me and says, 'WHAT!?" I didn't even bother to speak. I pointed to the blood dripping on the counter and stood up and said, "It's two pm... I have my lunch break now" and I left.

Both of them were shocked. When I came back an hour later with my lunch over... all the nurses were proud of me and the old hag was pissed as hell... but I didn't care. By the end of the day I got a begrudged apology from the practitioner and everything was pretty much back to the quid-pro-quo... however I'm never satisfied with normality.

Before we left to day, I pushed the old woman into a corner and told her quite vehemently... that if she ever tried to stop me from doing my job again, or to neglect a patient because of her bigotry... that not only would I report her to the superintendent of the health center, but that I would file charges with the board of medical examiners... that I did my job well and people are grateful for the way that I handle things. Our clinic gets a bad reputation because of the "bitchy office lady" and I was tired of hearing complaints. If she didn't fix her attitude I would take steps to make sure that no one other than me had to suffer from it... and that I wouldn't suffer it anymore.

I didn't even let her have a rebuttal. I walked away, got in my car, and l Ieft. I'm fairly certain I'll be in for it on Monday, but I'm happy and going to enjoy my weekend now!

Tra la!!


Life makes ammends...

2009-07-29 16:14:24 by MagicalSarai

So there is a co-worker of mine that is old as hell... I mean she makes father time look young. She's been working at my office for over 27 years, that's how old this woman is... and she hates me. Why? Because I can do everything she can--and then three times more. So she constantly tries to make herself look better than me... but she does it in ways that hurts me.

She keeps work from me, stops me from answering phones... keeps paperwork from me... it's hell in an air conditioned office building. Life was going good, because she'd been forced to take a two week vacation, but now she is back and building her grudge in better fashion. So I'm sitting here... trying to figure out how to get past her and get all the paperwork that needs to be done (which is sitting on her desk)... I'm not getting many ideas because she refuses to leave her chair. I'm thinking of lighting it on fire. Perhaps in her old age... her eyesight is not as good and I can sneak up on her with a lighter. If her chair catches fire... she'll have to get up, and I can save the paperwork.

May the force be with me!! Or something like that...


Sarai the critic

2009-07-28 20:55:34 by MagicalSarai

I have been to the movies quite recently in the past five days. My movie going experiences have been thus: Public Enemies, staring Johnny Depp (may he forever be a sex icon) and Christian Bale (may he go back to the days of American Psycho); I went from that movie to see G-force the next day (Nicholas Cage plays a mole... a must hear voice performance); and then I saw just last night The Ugly Truth staring Katherine Heigel and Gerard Butler (may he never grow old... that man is pure hotness). And after I realized my mixed feelings about all the movies... I had the overwhelming desire to be a movie critic for just one night. So here it is, for those who care: My moment in the critic's chair.

Public Enemies: 2 stars (out of possible 5)

Synopsis: Johnny Depp's acting is phenomenal! You shouldn't miss this performance, because it is so out of character for him. He plays John Dillinger; he plays a normal human being (or as close as Johnny Depp can get) and he plays loving... quite well; however, Johnny Depp is the high point for this movie. Christian Bale's acting is so... stone-like that I prayed for his moments on screen to be finished. I thought I was watching Bruce Wayne with a Boston accent. He was so wooden and emotionless that you couldn't tell what his character was supposed to be thinking... but you knew what Bale was wanting: "May I please finish this scene, collect my paycheck... and then go on to ruin another potentially great movie!" Christian Bale has a wall of iconic themes from our past. He sits in his chair at night and throws darts at this wall... and whatever he hits, that becomes his next project to ruin. He hit Batman twice! The only reason those movies didn't flop is because of the supporting cast and a star touched director. His Batman voice is the bane of my childhood fantasies! Don't get me started on Terminator Salvation (while a good movie... it could have done without Bale).

While Bale's performance is easily over looked by the stunning artistry of this movie, and the fact that he is in the movie very little... you cannot help but wonder where the writers were going with this script. The plot was jumped, jostled, and jumbled to the point of incoherence. You find yourself fast forwarding, moving states and towns without any notice or wording to help you keep pace... and the story itself lacks direction. It is all one bizarre ride to Dillinger's inevitable death... and even then you feel that it was poorly executed (literally). All in all... this film had so much wasted potential that I am tired of talking about it. Moving on...

G-force: 3.5/5 stars

Consensus: Ok... I'm a kid a heart. I went to see this with a guy who wanted to buy me dinner, and after dinner... let's just say I was not going to do anything further with him. He was boring. So... I needed a pick me up, and he let me choose the movie. I picked this. I was very surprised. I thought it would be complete crap and unworthy of any kind of praise... but it was creative, inventive and it had graphics at times that could rival transformers (in fact it tried to mimic transformers at one time. that was was hilarious). I recommend that you go see this movie. It's cute, it'll make you laugh, and it has a good set up for a sequel. Also the voice acting is spot on. You can't tell who is playing which character until you watch the credits (except for Penelope Cruz... but she's pretty much the only female guinea pig... not hard to figure out).

Other than that i think it tried to put in TOO MUCH of today's music... but they were trying to appeal to the children. So you get to hear Lady Gaga, The Black-eye Peas and much much more... be prepared for Just Dance and Boom Boom Pow at least twice each. It loses points for over use of popular music... moving on again.

The Ugly Truth: 4/5 stars

My thoughts: I loved this movie. I'm a sucker for romantic comedy... and I think Gerard Butler is hotter than hell! So this movie was a complete draw in. Not only that but I love Katherine Heigel from Grey's Anatomy. Thus I was always going to see this movie. It's funny all the way through. It has relationship humor, swearing humor, sexual humor, naughty humor, slapstick humor... it's all there. The acting is great, the writers were excellent... I had no complaints. I just don't give perfect scores. I want to talk about this movie more, but I want you all to go and see it.

My selling point? Katherine Heigel acts a scene where she is wearing a pair of vibrating panties that go off in the middle of a restaurant business presentation... enough said! Go watch this movie!!


The world is a cruel and terrible mistress... like me

2009-07-24 11:51:45 by MagicalSarai
Updated

Ok... so I'm not a happy person at the moment.

I woke up yesterday morning at 5:34am... which I never do. I have to be at work by 8am, which means I wake up at 7am, I get ready by 7:30am and I drive the two miles to work. I'm a person who is easily prepped and ready for her day. However, yesterday threw me a curve...

My alarm clock was not the standard Amanda Palmer's "Oasis"... not it was a churning feeling of nausea. Which rendered me incapable of going to work... because my head was fast becoming friends with my toilet. I had to call into work and I spent the next 4 hours vomiting and becoming very close to my bathroom... we shared things I will never share with any other human (trust me they don't want to see it). After that... I decided to get up and move to the floor in the living area of my flat: where I promptly collapsed and began to watch NCIS, not moving at all.

It was great... until I started cramping. That was about 7:50pm. It was then that I realized my affliction: FOOD POISONING! Of all things in the world... food poisoning. I was then rendered to my bathroom again... from about 8:15pm until midnight... I swear, I'm going to never walk into that room just because of embarassment.

However, that is karma. I think life was having one of its comedic moments, and I was the butt of the joke. Sigh... I did not enjoy it, but I'm back to feeling better and I wish to give you a standard nugget of my wisdom: When in doubt of a food's constitution, or it's affects on your constitution... throw it out.

Word of the day: CONstitution - The opposite of PROstitution.



So I work in a field where I have to wait on people.

That's not a good thing, by the way, because I hate people... and no--it's not in the food industry. I work as a glorified secretary for a medical office--a health center to be more precise. Basically our function is to... fix all of the patients and their stupidity. Oh! you thought it would be a good idea to shove a pumpkin up your butt, but now you can't get it out... well great! We can help you, and by we? I mean that I'll schedule you an appointment and while you are back there... I'm going to not even bother controlling my laughter.

My job is very satisfying, because... for being in the service industry... I don't have to cow to the whims of the people that come in. "What is this mysterious power?" you might ask. How do you escape the bonds of customer service? The answer is very simple: you piss me off and you don't get in to see the doctor... which means you don't get the penicillin to cure your STD... which means your dick and fall off and I will laugh at you. Don't piss me off you got it?!

Anyhow... you still get the random stupid person who will come in and be all... "look I don't have an appointment and I'd like to see the doctor."

To which I respond, "Alright sir.... well it's 4pm and we close at 4:30. We have no appointments this afternoon, but if you'd like I can schedule you--"

"No! You don't understand... I need to see the doctor now!"

The man yells at me!! He freaking yells because he doesn't call, doesn't have an appointment, and doesn't have the common sense to check and see closing hours. Heh heh... my sympathy is nonexistent sir. I immediately enter cunning bitch mode and he is pretty much screwed. See... I could have gotten him any appointment time he wanted the next day, but instead of hearing that--he cuts me off and yells at me: result? He gets the "first available appointment" which is two weeks from now.

Yep... that's how the crystal ball bounces. You don't piss off the secretareis. You don't come in and tell us how to operate, we've been doing it for nine hours a day, three years straight, and you have no idea what you are talking about! Yes... I'm completely ranting at this point! Isn't it lovely? Sigh... I love my job. I know what it's like to have a little piece of heavenly power, and I make the most of it. Stupid people beware: I have no patience for you!

Word of the day: Silence - The sound made by wolves with rabies when they are outside your house waiting to come in and eat you. Also made by mountain lions and even emus.... or a crazy redhead turned raven who carries a vendetta against your stupidity.

Stupid people... when you wake up this morning, ask yourself this: is it really worth walking outside?


A moral of dirty underwear

2009-07-21 17:46:20 by MagicalSarai

Friends are like underwear.

You use them until they get annoying and then you put them in the wash... clean them out... and then use them again.

Sounds harsh, but true nonetheless...

For example. I recently hosted a party for the regaining of my eyesight. Low and behold... I like hanging out with people. Big shocker! I hosted a casual get-together last night. It was four people and some take-out chinese food. It should have been fun, but no! These people come over and use my house like it is their own personal brothel. They eat all the food, leave the boxes all over my kitchen, fill the sink with dishes... and they start having sex in my bed!!

I know... you're looking at the screen and saying, "You allowed all of this?" o.O

For those among you who are wondering... no, I did not allow all of this. I watched it with grim distaste... all the while plotting their demise. The fools actually were stupid enough to fall asleep... in the house of their new awarded enemy. Little do they know about my schedule.

I'm a small sleeper... with my lifestyle I have to be. I survive on about three hours of sleep per every 48 hour period. While the idiots were having lust filled dreams... I painted my nails. I took a shower. I cleaned my kitchen. I got ready for work... and when the time came for me to leave: I threw all of their stuff out of my house, including them and told them to have a nice day. The image of three nude people standing in my front lawn--half asleep and fully confused--has not stopped brightening my day.

So I say to you this: clean your underwear frequently... and don't take shit from anyone.